Bipolar

I seek order from work to channel disorder from free time

I speak eloquently in prose, but my thoughts are in rhyme

I may reason with reason, but leave sanity behind

Now tell me, what do you make of that?

I’ve been called a sort of masochist for enduring pain

I don’t mind mistakes I’ve made again and again

I’m most sensible when doing something inane

So I’m sure you can’t say that I’m sane

The Right way to Write

The spaces in pages, or lines set in place

Which one is true to myself?

One records my thoughts as they occur to me

The other renders them fit for a shelf

One emulates how I act and think

While the other conforms to the masses

The records to me, to let me see

How I change as time slowly passes

In truth, neither represents who I am

It’s more of a combination of two

The chaos and order together span

Who I am, and what I choose to do.

Ignite

My energy’s source is simply desire

To strike the coals of internal fire

Until sparks catch upon my soul’s pyre

Throwing sparks to reach ever higher

Inspiration and ideas haunt my every turn

Some far off idea that I can’t help but yearn

Each one an opportunity for someone to learn

So let every single page here burn

The words here can ignite and alight when they’re read

They burn in the mind, not the body instead

They are the food that my imagination is fed

The entities that always crowd my head.

Alice in Musicland [English Adaptation Lyrics]

(M)Now let me tell you of a tale

Of something once sung long ago

A musically based Fantasia that spread in front of me

I came across a frenzied hare

With a white coat as pure as snow

Where was he headed to in such a rush?

I simply had to know

*Busy Rabbit*

(L)Ticka-tocka-ticka-tocka I must run or I’ll run out of time!

Oh, Ticka-tocka ticka-tocka Time counts down upon this watch of mine!

Come, Ticka-tocka Ticka-tocka No time to spare cause time is moving on!

And with the greatest haste I run for I must be long gone

(M)Hey, why is it that you now run complaining that you’re late?

Do you have some meeting now, or perhaps it’s a date?

(L)Yes! When it comes to being late she’s really quite severe

(M)That bad huh?

(L)Indeed

(L)Because that person is in fact our Queen!

Dilly-dally Ticka-tocka I’m leaving right away

And if you have something to ask, well ask another day

(M)Well tell me; Why is it that you are singing sweetly even though this is a big deal?

Still singing clearly despite how you feel

(L)Because of Musicland! (Musicland?) A music wonderland! (Wonderland!?)

We sing in Musicland, all of the time!

Now if you’ll just excuse me I must take my leave now- (Wait up!)

(M)And so I find myself wandering among this land of music notes

I wonder what would happen next

What sights were waiting for me

*Happy Singer*

(K)Excuse me little miss… (eh?) Excuse me little miss (Pardon me?)

Yes. Well then little miss (What’s up?) Tell me, what’s your name?

(M)Well you see my name is just-

(K)Is your name “My name is just”?

(M)Hey, that’s enough of that! Tell me, who are you?

(K)Who am I? That’s a pretty good question (Why’s that?)

Who am I? Truthfully I don’t know!

(M)Who are you? I’m certain you could tell me

(K)Who am I? I don’t know if I could

The only thing that I can say now is that I find joy in singing

I’d say that I am just a happy singer

(M)You love music, singing here forever

(K)Little by little, it’s made clear to me

As long as my voice is raised in song, as long as I can sing along

It seems that I am certainly…

(M)And it seems like I could also be

(M/K)One of the greatest singers of all

*Crazy Tea Time*

(M) Now even though I noticed the rhythm that had sounded out

I really wasn’t sure from where it came

(R) Well rest assured because that rhythm you hear belongs to me

Now please take a seat so we can enjoy our tea

(C) Would you enjoy some tea? Sit here and drink with me!

(R) Just drink it joyfully and see what comes to pass

(C) Would you accept some tea? Please drink it carefully!

(M) Ah! I cannot describe the strangest flavor it has

(R) Once you have tasted these, the others seem so ordinary

It gets so boring if you wait, and drink some tea you’ve already tried

(M) I’d say that I agree, you’ve got to add variety

(R) And who knows? If you drink something new, some crazy madness might then ensue

(C) Shall we now all have tea? Living so crazily

(R) You must be more than curious what it’s like to be mad like us

(C) How would you like your tea? With this insanity

Our crazy tea time is lively indeed

*Invisible Cat*

(M) While wandering through forests an unknown voice called

Beckoning to me asking for some reply in kind

It echoes through dense fog across unknown paths

What sort of person would I soon find?

(Lu) Headed that way, or this way, or maybe back that way

You seem indecisive if I may say so

Not that I can talk cause I’m the same; I wander with no obvious goal in mind

Ah, even in sadness there is joy and love hidden within you

(M) When you lay out the songs you must sing those feelings will envelop everything

(Lu) You’ll grow unsure of what you’re looking for, was it the same goal you had at the start?

(M) But in the end I’ll find what I had left behind

(Lu) Soon you will surely find some old hint to remind

Remnants of songs unsung

(M) Ruins with no personality

(Lu) In that state can you really call that art?

(M) Well I believe no one can say

(Lu) Though my thoughts are a jumble, I don’t mind being unseen

Remaining invisible isn’t so bad

(M) Well I am afraid that I must go. I have decided that this is the path to take!

(C) In both fortune and sorrow, all things will follow her whim

The winding path that leads to our capricious Queen!

(L) Everybody, bow down to the Queen!

(Me)As no doubt you have heard, I’m the Queen

The ruler of all those in this scene

When I sing all must listen! With my songs you can’t miss them

My aura rules, if you know what I mean

(M) So you’re the queen I’ve heard so much about (Yeah, that’s right and you better remember!)

You sing most beautifully without a doubt (Well isn’t that obvious?)

(Me) Now let the orchestra start and play the intro loudly

Now listen to my music!

Piano! Wood Bass! Drumline! Brass Section!

Everybody lend your hears and listen to me! Everybody play this song and remain in key! Remember all of this is my property, because I am you royalty!

(C) Hey! Wait a sec! We know music’s not that way, it exists for all to play

(R) Whether you’re slightly mad

(Lu) Or you’re just out of sorts

(L) Or if you’re in a frenzied rush

(K) It can bring you some happiness

(C) Everyone has their own form of song

(L) But all together they form harmonies

(R) With melodies sung clearly

(C) After all, we love music!

So let us tell you of this tale. This folklore played out on this stage

About the wondrous stories written out upon this simple page

It can be found most anywhere, some simple truth for all to know

The way to Musicland is written in your heart, it is always so!

Original Song
Karaoke

Rapping things up

In the past I know I’ve said that I could get inside one’s head

And copy people that I’ve read, and follow paths on which they’ve tread

But suddenly it occurred to me that this ability isn’t empathy

Rather it is a state to emulate, simulate that these people demonstrate

The me that walks around as a fake self can only copy

But I guess that’s the way I live, so that will never truly stop me

I guess I’ll be content to simulate these many faces

And follow walks of life that lead to many places

Even this poem lends itself to different inspiration

Drawing flow from the beat of JReyes’ syncopation

Lending voice with choice to this theme’s incorporation

Taking part in my own literary dedication

Self-censorship

Consider all the words you never say

The words that you know that never come out to play

But even if you never say them, you know them anyway

Because a word once learned will forever stay

Some words I know will never find their way to print

Even if their use would be fresher than mint

Even if I use some words repetitively again once more

There are still some words and phrases I abhor

Some words appear too inelegant and crude

That the use of them is inherently rude

Though the abstaining from epithets may mark me as a prude

The taste of these verses remain a simple, staple food

To prevent a burn at every turn, I bar profanity

And anyway, the spice is nice with just insanity

These words of mine remain divine in taste I often savor

And thus I am content with my own flavor

Invitation

Welcome to this place of illusion

Come now, won’t you have a seat?

After all, if this is to be a dialogue

It needs two people to be complete

A marvel, isn’t it? This place we now sit?

A place that’s built out of words alone

With something there to share with everyone, everywhere

But still a place that’s entirely my own

Though we may sit here on this one common page

I, who shall write, and you, who shall read

From different sides, do we see the same view?

Or do differences change what we perceive?

You’re free to go if you wish, I think I shall stay

And ponder on this for some time

Oh wait, before you go, I’d just like to know

What did you think about this rhyme?

Watch Out

Any common fool can observe time as it passes

But it takes a certain fool to get lost

To lose any sense of when things should be

To let events land wherever they’re tossed

When time seems to stumble and collapse in a jumble

Isn’t it you who ends up in a pile?

To deal with the mess, one’s patience is put to the test

As you sort through affairs for a while

To lose track of days, months, even years

May leave someone’s thoughts out of order

No concept of when or where things occurred

No clearly defined temporal border

I cannot recall at all how things were

I have no idea when memories were made

The passage of time passes time unobserved

And I don’t really care, I’m afraid

Off the Deep End

To dive into stories as if they were pools

To immerse oneself within their depths

Is an occupation for dreamers, for artists, for fools

Who recognized they didn’t look before they leapt

It’s not what you seek, what you think, what you expect

That should convince you to dive recklessly

It is the unknown, untold and unfound

That should tempt you so effortlessly

Just take what you find, and find what to take

In the end, my lesson will serve

Take any strange word as its own reward

A diversion that only you observe

Poem1

This is a poem that’s just a poem

Nothing more, nothing less

Nothing for all to see, nothing its supposed to be

Just a poem that exists for its poem-ness

There’s really no need for meaning here

In the way that I now write this

I write what I can just on a small whim

As for the result… it is what it is

I wonder why? (I wonder)

A thought just occurred to me today

“Why do I write in rhyme?”

I could write thoughts in prose, most certainly

I once did it all the time

Where did those pages of rambling text go?

Structured randomly with no message to send?

Where arguments centered on what I didn’t know,

Formed layers and layers on end?

Why is it now my thoughts lay in four?

Two for two, with a line in between

Why is it that I must search for words,

That both mesh and say what I mean?

This medium I write in, a diary

A container for thoughts one must stow

The words written here are meant to be clear

I guess I’ll just say “I don’t know”

Daydream

Fantasy, reality, extensions of the same class

One feeding off the other and returning values back

And in between the time are global variables that amass

A system of public interchange that makes up what they lack

The dreams of possibilities to events are just the same

For if they were impossible, how could they have a name?

The way that things just are and feel puts all accounts to shame

So consider each bug as just a value you can’t tame

I choose to lapse in dream over what can and can’t exist

But each event that happens here is something never missed

That said, my gaze on fantasy is something that persists

A draw to other worlds and lives I cannot resist

Love is War [English Adaptation Lyrics]

[Although, we once saw things eye to eye]

[Our story is, just breaking up… NOW]

Grey clouds, descend, right here

Casting all in shades, of grey-black shadows

Sunlight filters through the gaps, that now begin to close

That weak light, now changes color

[aah]

As shadows spread out near and blur, how they appear

Can I still say that my mind is still clear?

I know what comes, but what am I supposed to do then?

What am I to do, to get through to you?

Why must I be, so foolish?

Now this war of love begins

I’ll now confess my sins

The joy you brought me, I cannot see, standing in my way

This love that I once felt, outlines the wounds you dealt

I choose to show you these feelings that once led me astray

The mike that I now use doesn’t make much noise, because it’s broken

I suppose it matters not, since you could not have heard it

Over, such a bleak, vast distance

[aah]

The skies began to clear, and light began to filter, upon this shade that suited me

These feelings grew, until I couldn’t hold them back here

What path can I take, to live for love’s sake?

Because I know I’ve sworn, to never, cry again…

[I still love you]

I’ll be aiming at your heart

I’ll tear this bond apart

That love we had and cherished once has just become a war

As these bold feelings arise, I’ll go take you by surprise

I’ll show you this one truth that I am always fighting for

I move on with all my heart

This losing battle that I’m fighting will tear me apart

Love’s indeed, a blinding force

I know that I won’t stop until my feelings run their course

Original Song
Karaoke

Storywriter [English Adaptation Lyrics]

Heaven’s story writer writes here

This one moment draws near, this vague will becomes clear

Once more, it’s in your hands

Once more, it’s in your eyes

Once more, that one picture expands

The truths this pen, now writes

That calls upon those lights

That descend

Across this time

Heaven’s story writer draws here

Drawing things that draw tears

Now that heart’s of love now appear

Once more, you can hold it

Once more, you can mold it

Be sure that it’s folded tightly

The words this letter holds

Within creases and folds

Mark the page

Of story’s start

Original Song
Karaoke

Impotent Rage

Irritation is gradual

It builds and builds and builds

It’ll fill you up right to the brim

Until the excess spills

Once started, twice wary, and thrice seems too strange

Even more’s excessive for god’s sakes!

To chuckle, to sigh, to shake with rage

Are the signs that show when temper breaks

To say that I’m sure I can’t take any more

Is a sure sign fate has conspired

To bring into play the annoyances in my way

To bring around some dumb farce it desired

That’s enough! I quit! I’m so sick of it!

The way annoyances line up, one by one

With impeccable timing, so no one’s to blame

F*** this, seriously, I’m done.

A Novel Experience

I find myself wandering among books once again

Seeking their refuge of ink, paper, and calm

Breathing in the scent of pages unturned

Feeling the weight of words in my palm.

Among these towering shelves stocked to the brim

I read and I write with strange ease

I may pick up or drop words with naught but a whim

A domain bound by all that one sees

Today I found myself in a truly strange store

One that revels in the exchange of text

A discount for those who offer new words

In exchange for the words they read next

A book caught my eye as I wandered those shelves

Foucault’s Pendulum, to be precise

Perhaps a good read, only time will tell

I’ll take this as variety’s spice

Archive (5/16/13)

I have often turned to the past in the past

To see shades of who I have been

To recapture the essence of the person I was

When my own memories have worn thin

There’s a problem inherent with this form of search

Most records only go so far back

And of those there is doubt they’re worth the amount

Of effort needed to discern what they lack

This journal of mine only spans the time

Back to 2007 or so

And there are gaps in between with nothing to be seen

Though the reason for that I don’t know

The other source is electronic, but their content’s tectonic

I’m surprised that I made such a shift

My old tone was acerbic, sarcastic and detached

With moods limited from “bored” to “miffed”

My old emails and chats from the time in between

Show a transition from that cranky shell

The randomness entertained, the levity sustained

Has certainly benefited me well

I say the self and mask I wear today

Took form from those chats held on AIM

The games and the reminders to join Anime Club

Led to the changing of my name

I kinda miss those jokes and those talks

(I actually miss that school too)

But still we move on, past the things now long gone

In search of new things we find worthy to pursue

I leave these words here for my as-of-yet unseen self

Who may come across them again someday

Remember me who did see who we were and now are

Consider it, and be on your way.

Futatsu no Mirai [English Adaptation Lyrics]

Once the bell tolls, we both dash beyond all that we see

Seeking what dreams we had, what we felt, the limits of all we can be

No matter what happens, we will be okay if you trust in me

To keep moving on, piercing through, running past the horizon here

To keep standing up, never lay down to die

And with these fragile wings, I ascend toward the sky

We’ll never take the easy path

We’ll never skip the road ahead

For the goals we set, all the friends we met, we will stay true to us

We stand together once again

Representing all we’ve been

With our hearts as one, we all know our story’s begun

Our paired future begins.

Original Song
Karaoke

Hy...

Welcome back Hyperbole and a Half

Your presence has sorely been missed

You’ve long been held on a single front page

But my interest in you would persist

While the last joke you posted was comically dark

This one’s darkly amusing to me

The state of mind here is rather severe

That builds in intensity

I know that dark state that chooses to propagate

Into every aspect of one’s mind

I know that shallow despair that there’s nothing there

No illusion of living to find

I recognize that feeling that there isn’t any healing

Some odd cutting wound to your soul

I recognize clearly that all you held dearly

Does nothing to make you feel totally whole

The thing more curious about our ways and our means

Is a difference in goal, I believe

I chose to immerse, take comfort in reverse

While you sought a way to relieve

A devolvement into hysterics will do me no good

I have no qualms about wearing fake faces

To me reality is an illusion itself

That my whims and my will simply replaces

Once again after years, my browser must guess

Between two links with “Hy-”

One reaching for light, one resting in dark

Both moving on, by and by

So may you have luck in fixing yourself

Finding restoration, piece by piece

Myself? Well I am content with my words

And their forms that change till my thoughts cease.

Sweet Magic [English Adaptation Lyrics]

On this sweet day happiness is in the air

Shining sparkling things are floating everywhere

The light descends, promising not to stop

It is “Sweet”, it is “Love”, all held in this sundrop

What do you do as we stand beneath the sunlight?

Do we dance here upon the streets bathed white?

As the warmth grows and fills this place with life

Magic sings many things about what this day brings

What do you do about things that you can’t comprehend?

Do you just assume that they work as they should?

Do you just take for granted all the things you depend?

Is that all you hope for?

I say that that’s just simply no good!

Here in this sweet romance, see how things advance

Let the swirling sparkling motes of light now dance

As we roam the streets, our gaze now meets

The bright light of that sweet magic we search for

Do you consider things that stand right in your way?

Or do you just walk by them like they don’t exist?

What do you think about the things that you do every day?

Do you care if troubles await you and just simply persist?

Hey, you noticed it right? Do you get it now?

Do you understand what magic will allow?

As we walk these streets, all that your gaze meets

Is a subject to the change you’re searching for

So go on and sing. Call on everything

That encompasses what you want this to bring

Original Song
Karaoke (Original)

Katayoku no Tori [English Adaptation Lyrics]

[As this judgment stands, with paths fate demands

As this tempest answers witches call

No one escapes the sin that lives on here

It lives only to devour all]

As the waves swell in force, as the wind swirls

As the coming storm drawn on strength, banners unfurl.

Signal the start, all the pieces gather

Bells start to ring

The words that were said start this game anew

As the banquet starts, let this grand chaos ensue

While this night loops, irregularly, chase those words that seem to ring true

[Is this hope forgotten?] As I descend into hell

[Is this a sin?] The visions seen as I fell

Spell, out all the sins, laid out on wings that may only decay

Time will tell

Don’t cry for your sins

Break deceptive words, pass illusions by, don’t be fooled

Just rise this once over destiny’s gravity. Seize the day!

Just take all the words you know to be true, hold them inside you, chase them to pursue

All the paths that let this endless night begin anew

[Are you without sin?

Do you trust judgment to pass you by without a glance?]

(Passing by, ignorant)

(Staring at all the wounds here. What causes this pain now?)

Do you know all the things that remain unsaid here?

Do you know the cause that leads weaker men to fear?

These illusions now bleed like fresh wounds

This deep hatred that lives in my heart now blooms

Calling out here, demanding that I act on feelings sincere

[This long hidden secret] If a bird were to lose a wing now

[Can you still keep it?] What sound would it make going down?

Calling a name, making it clear to the sky and the earth

who’s to blame

Just choose not to run

Accept errors made, long held debts repaid. Let truth lie.

And let the magic change everything’s form as this time goes by

With sorrow and love hold these frail truths close, let them make the most

Of answers come too late

Hold tightly all the things you might see breaking free, within.

This shining light seems to just grow above, dazzling all who choose not to see it

Miracles pour out from the gaps that our collective sins now endure

This world long entangled by promises is shaken to the core

Don’t speak out those words (That now spell how this world will change)

Don’t listen to them (Don’t consider how those words arrange)

Don’t cry for your sins

Break illusions seen. Change how you have been. Just change fate.

Rise up from the depths that bind you to your past and seize the day!

Just look in your heart. Find the truths held there. Be more self aware

Cast aside despair

Let your own emotions blossom in your heart, and stay

(It’s impossible to find the secret if you cannot realize the love)

Original Song
Karaoke

Notice

Sometimes I have to wonder if its selectivity

Or if reality takes from my thoughts

The things I will notice, the things I observe

Is it random, or connected dots?

For instance, I found my Touhou files today

And soon after a group post was made

A feature for fans, an attention demand

On what games others have played

When my complaints have turned on the nature of customers

Sudden sympathizers appeared

Though there was no former problem, an issue was made

A coincidence that I found to be weird

When I picked up my gameboy and started Pokemon

Posts of “Nostalgia” were quickly shown

Of others of some thought, or others newly bought

With each occurrence, my suspicion has grown.

So tell me then, is this all in my head?

Or has the world become attuned to my mind?

Am I simply picking up on items of new interest?

Or is the world responding to my whims in kind?

Dream of the Self Insert

The imaginary me defies possibility

He wanders ‘mongst pages that exist yet do not

Passing through gates and windows left half open

Of stories another has wrought

This other self of mine who is never seen nor felt

Finds life in a place of my mind

To flitter into stories, revel in their glories

And discovers what there is to find

He transcends the scene as I transcend him in turn

For he is greater, yet less to the eye

If canon should fire, or my interest should tire

It is certain that he would soon die

Yet another “him” appears among pages later read

As he takes yet another role

And I can’t help but envy the new stories he’d send me

As he takes another story for a stroll

Literallary

To fumble with words is an occupation for all

Yet one thing sets writers apart

As they tumble down toward the ground

A writer crafts them into art

Though I seldom speak and my tongue lies ever still

My thoughts reach out from each page

I say more than I could without uttering a sound

Where their long lived form is an advantage.

To those who can't handle criticism

A common thought for people of pen
I remember thinking the same when I discovered to write
Of course my works have grown much greater since then
To encompass larger horizons of sight

Though hassle and heckle may sour your pride
Remember, "criticism may yet lead to growth"
All comments from others may yet help you write
Instead of one side, look at both

Sleepwalking

To stand upright as if one was awake

Yet to feel as if you’re asleep

To move without passion, depend on reaction

When all you really want is to count sheep

Maybe all that’s needed is something to shake me

Or maybe some sugar, because I’ve run out

Some hilarity for energy, a vigorous boost

Or for the rest of the day, I’ll laze about

Associative

My memories bind themselves to many odd things

To feel, to smell, to sound

I cannot escape what association brings

From all of these aspects around

I remember warm days in a far-foreign land

Due to Simple Plan songs from the past

I recall that far joy the piano would employ

Memorized songs played frequently fast

The old thought resurges from deep in my mind

All books are the doors to far distant lands

This old feeling reemerges, and I can now find

The energy to craft things with my own hands

So then, Nick-from-the-past, welcome back once again

Let me tell you what’s new since your previous end

Let us tally efforts and energy to further expend

And allow tradition to onward extend

All Warmed Up

As the temperature rises with the sun outside

I choose to move with due haste

Even if there’s no need to fire up

Not giving it my all’s such a waste

With speed in mind and deftness in hand

I work to work with the lowest time

To go put my all in all I may do

To embody haste of my own design

So let the air burn in the bright sky outside

I will burn myself and become my own flame

Even if I overheat or collapse on my feet

My individuality will not stay tame.

Re: Collection

The memories that come without cause, without call

Echo again and again in my head

The season of warmth that leads into fall

Ignores the future, calls the past here instead

That past idle thought of working with tools

Hit me as I helped fix a bike

The idle in sun, a pastime for fools

Comes back when I may do as I like

The air in the sky brings on scattered memories

Past classes taken in Royal Oak

To walk in a bright heat, hoping for breeze

Back when I hung out with other folk

I wonder why I wander among such old diversions

Is it idleness or idol-ness at fault?

I suppose I will see how it is eventually

If this distraction continues its assault

Or if next week it comes to a halt

Sis Puella Magica [English Adaptation Lyrics] (Expanded Orchestral)

What I saw on that day

What I felt as she lay

Bearing the world on her shoulders

Seeing the price she paid

For that one wish she made

Fighting on until it’s over

The only thing I wished for was a way to save her

Free her from the chains that kept binding her to her fate

Find a way for all of us to keep moving,

Keep alive, all survive

Let’s keep on fighting for our common cause

Watching our friendships split

Watching us fight and die

Knowing our imminent sorrow

Watching sadness and grief

Shatter our core belief

Knowing the end of tomorrow

Are there better ways for us to keep on living?

Can we carry on after we’re done forgiving?

Even if the answer is “no” I’ll keep having hope,

that someday, we will find, that world we dream about

Though I once had my doubts

Though I once stood in fear

Staring at our hopeless ending

I saw how her resolve held

How her wish was sincere

Standing against fate without bending

The ones who stood at our side

Those who once fought and died

They could still carry on with our fight

Our ending was drawing near

But we still stood firm here

Holding our hope

As this battle rages our hearts still beat together

Even among all the despair we must weather

We all choose to fight for our future now and

Give our all, to the call

Here we face the entities we chose to be.

And… the only… Wish I could think of was to save her

Free her from the chains that kept binding her to her fate

Yet it became her who would start the change to

lead the way to the day

Where the future we protect is shining

All the things I fought for are moving on beside me

I can feel them here even though they stand where I can’t see

Even once they’re gone I still choose to stand firm

Without pain, once again

I will keep on fighting for tomorrow

Original Song
Karaoke