Youkai Like to Come Out in the Dark (A Touhou Parody of “My Songs Know What You Did In the Dark” by Fallout Boy ft. Marisa)

Oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa,

Oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa,

B-B-B-Be careful going outside in the dark, dark

A full moon is when it will start

The best case is just a scare

There is a chance they’ll tear you apart

But don’t you worry about your houses

There are some people like me who’ve go this

Just wait till they see my [Master Spark]

Gonna use a [Blazing Star]

Gotta love it when I spark a fight!

Youkai like to come out in the dark

So light ‘em up, up, up,

Light ‘em up, up, up,

Light ‘em up, up, up,

Open fire!

So light ‘em up, up, up,

Light ‘em up, up, up,

Light ‘em up, up, up,

Open fire!

Oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa,

In the dark, dark

Oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa,

In the dark, dark

Reimu keeps saying it’s a pain

But Danmaku’s just a funny little game

We’re gonna laugh ‘bout this tomorrow while we’re drinkin’ tea

But right now no one here is laughing now except for me, me

A constellation of stars is my spellcard

You could do this like me if you just work hard

Sakuya, Reimu, Sanae, and Youmu

Are out looking for some Youkai to defeat

Youkai like to come out in the dark

So light ‘em up, up, up,

Light ‘em up, up, up,

Light ‘em up, up, up,

Open fire!

So light ‘em up, up, up,

Light ‘em up, up, up,

Light ‘em up, up, up,

Open fire!

Oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa,

In the dark, dark

Oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa,

In the dark, dark

Youkai like to come out in the dark

(Youkai like to come out in the dark)

So light ‘em up, up, up,

Light ‘em up, up, up,

Light ‘em up, up, up,

Open fire!

So light ‘em up, up, up,

Light ‘em up, up, up,

Light ‘em up, up, up,

Open fire!

Oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa,

In the dark, dark

Oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa,

In the dark, dark

Youkai Back Shrine Road

-At the temple: Reimu and Youmu enter. Marisa and Sanae enter-

[0:00] (Kyouko) Welcome back!

(Reimu) Yeah, yeah. Where did that Youkai go?

(Kyouko) The lodger? She went behind the temple

(Marisa) Hey there guys! I found Sanae wandering-

[0:17] (Reimu) [Sky-Conquering Kick]!

(Marisa) Hey, wait! I’m not the Youkai!

(Reimu) Yeah, but that’s not it! So just stand still there and die!

(Marisa) Hey, what’s your problem?

(Sanae) What did Marisa do then?

(Reimu) Stop using my name! (Youmu) Again

[0:29] (Marisa) In my defense, she knew it first and she called me out on it

(Reimu) That’s still not the point, stupid!

That doesn’t change what you did at all!

(Sanae) So you both ran into that Youkai shapeshifter?

(Youmu) Yes, she looked like Marisa

(Reimu) Flying without a broom

(Marisa) Sounds like her

[0:52] (Reimu) Well, let’s go. She went that way, to the back

(Marisa) Alright, but why are there Youkai everywhere?

-Nue enters-

[1:03] (Nue) Well, those bums came back. So everyone panicked

Our trump card is here, but you four won’t see it!

[1:16] (Marisa) So you’re back for more?

(Sanae) We all saw through your disguise!

(Youmu) Now, prepare yourself!

(Reimu) Hey, hold on you guys

(Nue) We won’t be stopped now! Behold the might of Youkai!

(Marisa) You’re too slow! [Master Spark]!

-Nue defeated. Aya enters-

[1:30] (Aya) Marisa? I see, you guys are in high spirits

(Reimu) Hey guys, Nue wasn’t it

Drop the act. Aya’s more obnoxious

(Aya?) Well, I guess you’re not the miko of Hakurei

If you can’t see through this much

(Reimu) So you’re the Youkai who fought with us?

[1:50] That reminds me: who the hell are you?

(Mamizou) Oh, your pardon please, people.

I’m Futasuiwa from Sado

[2:02] (Marisa) Nope, that name’s too long

(Mamizou) People call me “Mamizou”

(Reimu) What an odd name

(Sanae) Gashadokuro?

-…-

[2:13] (Marisa) … Sanae, where did that come from just now?

(Sanae) Well, I thought a trump card would be like that

[2:25] (Reimu) But we can see her! She’s clearly a Tanuki!

(Sanae) But Nue’s power can distort what we see!

(Mamizou) … So, I have to ask: Are you a type of Youkai?

(Youmu) Well, it’s more like I’m half…

[2:36] (Mamizou) Indecisive. Why don’t I train you to be a full Youkai?

(Youmu) No thank you

(Marisa) You guys, who cares?

Looks to me like my target’s right here!

(Mamizou) Oh, so you three have finally finished squabbling?

But I don’t want to fight you

I’m here because that saint rose anew

[3:00] (Marisa) Oh, that one? Was she really a big deal?

(Mamizou) So, you know the person I came to fight?

(Marisa) Well of course. I’m the one who revived her

(Mamizou) Oho! That’s an amusing joke

(Reimu) That right?

[3:23] (Marisa) Who says I’m joking?

(Reimu) We all were there, you idiot

(Mamizou) I’d have to conclude you are enemies

After all, you three are clearly human enough

So this is a warmup

-incoming god signal-

[3:35] (Sanae) Actually, my shrine caters to Youkai as well

(Suwako: to Sanae) About that. You’re in the clear

She pissed off some Tengu over here

(Kanako) Sanae, defeating her will earn us more faith

(Sanae) Very well? I’ll fight you now

(Mamizou) Is she alright?

(Marisa) Oh, she spaces out

-Gap opens by Youmu-

[3:58] (Yukari) Youmu, do your best!

(Yuyuko) For the Glory of Foxes!

(Youmu) Yes, of course. Wait, what foxes are those?

(Reimu) Youmu’s spacing too? I give up. Just start the duel

(Mamizou) How many transformations can you see through?

A New Wind at the Shrine

[0:00] (Neutral) After a swift battle, Gensokyo returned to

Its semblance of normal for everyone

Conversing like always, the witch and the miko

Were both cut off by the other shrine maiden

[0:11] (Reimu) Miko’s house was so big and it was too shiny

(Marisa) Well I wonder how I can sneak in there-

Hey, is that Sanae?

(Reimu) Wonder what she wants now?

(Sanae) there you two are, finally! Did you guys hear?

[0:22] (Reimu) Nope, I can’t say I have

(Sanae) Myouren has made its move!

(Marisa) What, by that big ship? Well, that sounds cool

(Sanae) No, I mean something else! It’s against the Taoists!

(Reimu) Well, I guess that figures

(Marisa) Hey there Youmu

-Youmu falls out a gap-

[0:33] (Reimu) Byakuren is always helping out the Youkai

So what is she planning? A holy war?

(Sanae) Well, you see… that’s just it. They made countermeasures

They brought in a trump card

(Reimu) What the hell for?

[0:44] (Marisa) So, how’d you end up here?

(Youmu) Miss Yukari gapped me

After mistress told me something awful

The Youkai are now in an uproar because of

The divine spirits at Myouren Temple

[0:55] (Reimu) I already knew that

(Youmu) Oh, that is impressive

Mistress said something about “Thanksgiving”?

Were you all invited?

(Marisa) Oh, it sounds like we are!

(Sanae) shall we go together?

(Reimu) Well, I’m leaving

-Reimu, Marisa and Sanae exit. Gap opens-

[1:05] (Youmu) Wonder what I should do. Shall I go after them?

(Yukari) Just use the Force, Youmu! Go on, let go!

(Yuyuko) Youmu, bring back something from the Youkai party

(Youmu) I suppose I can swing by the temple

-Youmu exits-

[1:16] (Yukari) Still, it’s quite troublesome, updating the border

(Yuyuko) Oh, could it be that you admit defeat?

(Yukari) No, but it is vexing that someone else come through

And it’s a shapeshifter just like that Nue

[1:28] (Neutral) Meanwhile at the temple, the tension was mounting

Even all the fairies were excited

Anti-Youkai Taoists had started a movement

And a fearsome Youkai came to fight it

[1:38] (Kyouko) Welcome to the temple! How can I help you now?

Oh, our newest lodger? She is resting

Ah, you misunderstand. She is not here to fight

Violence is against the Dharma’s teachings

-nearby: Reimu enters. Sanae enters-

[1:50] (Sanae) Hang on, wait up for me! Huh, where is Marisa?

(Reimu) She flew off on her own, cackling something

Don’t know why she bothered. We’re going the same way

Hey, something the matter?

(Sanae) Huh? … It’s nothing

So then, what is the plan?

(Reimu) We’ll know when we get there

Is something the matter?

(Sanae) Tell me, Reimu

When did you grow a tail?

(Reimu?) Oh, I see you noticed

Well, I’ll see you later

(Sanae) Hey, who are you?!

-Reimu? leaves-

-Nearby: Marisa enters. Reimu enters-

[2:12] (Marisa) Looks like I lost Reimu. Now to go for the win!

So, I gotta ask ya, who are ya then?

(Reimu) Isn’t it more proper to introduce yourself?

(Marisa) I’m Hakurei Reimu, the shrine maiden!

(Reimu?) My, that is rather harsh, pinning it on your friend

(Marisa) Well, Reimu can take it. See ya later?

(Reimu?) So you saw right through me. What gave me away then?

(Marisa) Reimu always has her orbs around her

-Nearby: Reimu enters. Youmu enters.-

[2:34] (Youmu) Please wait for me, Reimu! Huh? Where is everyone?

(Reimu) Sanae fell behind, and Marisa-

(Youmu) Oh, she’s over that way

(Reimu) No. That’s not Marisa

Alright, hold it Youkai! Now, who are you?

[2:44] (Marisa?) I’m Hakurei Reimu!

(Youmu) … She sounds like Marisa

(Reimu) … Honestly, she might be an improvement

(Marisa?) So you four shall chase me? Well, I must say truly

That your efforts may give me amusement

[2:57] (Neutral) Someone who can shift shapes, the trump card of Youkai

What is it that made it to Gensokyo?

Shoutoku Legend ~ True Administrator

[0:34] (Reimu) Who are you?

(Marisa) Hey, nevermind all of that. I’ve got a question

Is there anything of value in this hige place?

(Reimu) Hey, Marisa. Would you please focus?!

(Sanae) Guys, I get the feeling that I’ve seen her face…

-Divine spirits gather-

[0:47] (Youmu) I don’t understand. Why are these all here?

Who would gain from gathering them in this hall?

(Miko) They gather here of their volition

I have been known as Shoutoku Ou

[0:58] (Sanae) Wait, what? Your face is on the old 10,000 yen bill

Wait no, there’s something wrong. You died so long ago

(Miko) Yes, and we make it here to Gensokyo

-Divine spirits gather. Soga and Futo enter-

[1:39] By the way…

All of your strange desires cause imbalance here

It is making these vulgar spirits agitated

To be truthful, I have no reason

To fight with you, even if I am defeated

[1:53] But I see now you three won’t be swayed

(Sanae) Well you know, going back empty-handed’s just…

(Reimu) It doesn’t matter. This is a problem

(Marisa) And a Danmaku duel’s a must!

[2:07] (Miko) Oh? Strange. You suddenly found a desire to fight

(Youmu) If you are really the one to gather spirits, then I think striking you down is alright

(Reimu) What about your orders? Won’t you get in trouble?

(Youmu) That is acceptable

(Miko) Well said. Go!

-Sanae, Marisa, Youmu, Futo and Soga exit.-

[3:24] I see that you beat Seiga. You must understand

What two beings revived with eternal life should do

Let’s study Tao as a true statesman

(Reimu) Hey, I already said that I would fight you

[3:38] (Miko) Either way’s fine. My legend begins

When the humans deny my existence

[Halo of the Guse Kannon]

(Marisa) Hah, chalk that up as another win!

-Marisa returns with an unconscious Sanae-

[3:50] (Reimu) Okay, why is it that Sanae’s out cold again?

(Marisa) You know those frog bomb things? Turns out they don’t do much

And she got caught up in an explosion

-Futo enters-

[4:30] (Futo) Have at thee!

(Marisa) Oh, I forgot. By the way, she’s not defeated

(Reimu) What the hell? You didn’t finish her off earlier?

(Marisa) Not exactly. The ceiling collapsed

I was hoping that it would take care of her

-Soga enters, Youmu enters-

[4:47] (Soga) It nearly did

(Reimu) Oh, come on Youmu!

I thought you would be better than Marisa!

(Youmu) My apologies

(Futo) Come, let us advance!

(Miko) [Summon: Royal Clan’s Chaotic Dance]!

[4:58] (Youmu) Heads up!

(Reimu) I got the ghost! Marisa, beat her this time!

(Miko) Now then, fellow hermit. Let us clash properly

And let the Tao show what we have become!

(Youmu)  I must state once again, I am a half-phantom

(Miko) [Falling Stars on Divine Spirit Mausoleum]!

-Fighting-

Starry Night of Small Desires

-Girls enter-

[0:54] (Marisa) Hey, something’s weird here

This place doesn’t feel bad

(Reimu) Was my feeling just mistaken?

(Sanae) What was it about that clan?

-exploring-

[2:05] (Neutral) Spirits gathered for a princess

Shining like the stars in the night sky

Gathering, these small desires

Signaling that someone had revived.

[2:17] Sealed away beneath the Dharma

A legend who gathered so much faith

Sealed away for thousands of years

Reborn once more, the legendary saint!

-Miko enters-

[2:31] (Sanae) The Mononobe…

(Miko) Was destroyed

I witnessed it myself

We long opposed each other

In the end, I required their help

Legend of the Great Gods

[0:36] (Marisa) [Blazing Star]!

(Sanae) Wait, Marisa!

(Soga) Too slow, magician!

(Futo) [Blazing Winds of Haibutsu]!

(Reimu) Well, enough of that. It’s too confusing

I’ll attack her right, Youmu.

-Sanae, Marisa, and Futo exit-

[0:48] (Soga) God-girl, what are you doing in this fight?

At the least, your magician friend is trying to hurt me

(Youmu) It seems you now stand against the natural order

Be at peace, [Sword Skill: Cherry Blossom Flashing]!

-later: Marisa enters-

[1:28] (Marisa) What, you guys still aren’t done?

(Futo) Hast Soga perished?

But that fate hath passed before

(Reimu) Where is Sanae?

(Marisa) Still over that way

Giving Soga a lecture

[1:39] (Reimu) That’s odd. Did something just happen?

(Marisa) Not that way, I just told her about how to beat green ghosts

(Youmu) Marisa, Reimu, a little help please

(Marisa) By the way, why don’t you just cheat and beat her easy?

[2:03] (Reimu) You know that power Meiling has?

(Marisa) That weird dance that she does all the time to use “qi”?

(Reimu) Well, this girl does something that feels like it

She said she’s been boosting herself with Feng Shui

-Sanae and Soga enter-

[3:04] (Sanae) Hey guys, something just came up. Where’s the other one?

(Marisa) Still fighting over that way

(Sanae) Excuse me, Futo? Is it really true

That your name is Mononobe?

[3:15] (Futo) Indeed, it seems that thou hath heard of thee

(Reimu) Sanae?

(Sanae) Well, I guess that that may be the case, but…

Well… that clan was wiped out long ago, so I heard

(Futo) It doth not matter. I now see the purpose of mine rebirth!

[3:56] (Reimu) This is getting us nowhere. Alright, tell us now

What’s with the divine spirits?

(Futo) Vulgar spirits here?! Mayhap it is time!? I cannot remain like this

[4:07] Soga, it’s time. The Crown Princess hath come!

(Soga) So that’s it. I was wondering what made all of you wake up

(Futo) Excuse me, if thou wouldst. We must bear witness.

Bear witness to the might of the power of Tao seen within!

(Reimu) … What?

-Futo and Soga exit-

[4:33] (Marisa)… So then, you know who those two ghosts were?

(Sanae) I think so, but it can’t be. They died long ago, so…

(Youmu) A spirit, yet not a phantom. Who is she?

(Reimu) We’ll find out only if we go ahead. Came on, you three!

The Hall of Dreams’ Great Mausoleum

[0:00] (Neutral) Sealed away long ago outside of Gensokyo…

-Girls enter-

[0:03] (Marisa) –So that’s how we met Youmu

(Reimu) What do you think they’re going to do?

(Marisa) Gather up the spirits and do it?

(Youmu) You can’t do that with Divine Spirits

[0:40] (Reimu) Seriously, what’s with all the revivals?

Your’s first, then Byakuren’s next

(Sanae) So, will this one be a Youkai?

(Reimu) At this point, I don’t know what to expect

-Soga and Futo enter-

[1:04] (Soga) So what do you think?

(Futo) Ah, this fateful day hath come

Who is here for the occasion?

(Reimu) … Sanae, you’re the people person. Why’s she talking like an old person?

[1:30] (Futo) So thee are the spokesperson, correct?

Were thou the one who ended mine rest?

(Sanae) Well, I’m a god in Gensokyo acting as a normal miko

(Futo) Mayhap there was value in having tasted death

[1:43] So will thou deliver me to Heaven as a Celestial?

(Sanae) No, I wasn’t planning on that

(Reimu) Not that stuff again!

(Marisa) Hey, I think we should let her try and watch all the lightning

Come down. It would be funny to go and shake up Heaven

[1:55] (Soga) Oh, you want some lightning? Let’s make this exciting!

-Soga attacks-

[1:59] (Reimu) Hey you, can you control her-

(Marisa) Oh yeah? [Master Spark], full power!

(Youmu) So that’s what that looks like on this side

(Reimu) Sanae, can you watch out for her?

[2:35] (Futo) … what design hath driven thee to me?

Art thou trials to be reborn fully?

(Reimu) How the hell did it end up like this?

Undead minions sealed up in a crypt?

[3:00] (Futo) Verily well, I accept!

I shall vanquish thee promptly

The Crown Princess will then rise here anew

Know that my heart harbors no malice

This is simply a task I must do

Old Yuanxian

[0:06] (Seiga) Let’s begin! [Necromancy: Corpse Tongji]!

(Reimu) Get the Jiangshi!

[0:17] (Seiga) Hah, you’re far too late. [Tongling Yoshika]! Go, my cute undead minion!

(Reimu) Youmu, Sanae, keep her busy. Marisa

(Marisa) I’ll go for the win!

[0:38] (Yoshika) [Heal by Desire]-

(Youmu) Not fast enough!

(Sanae) [Moriya Curse Gods]! So tough!

(Marisa) Hey, stand still and fight!

(Seiga) No. You’d better hurry ~ Too slow~

-fighting-

[0:50] I thought you four were more experienced in handling incidents

I suppose a Taoist is far too difficult

(Marisa) come here and say that again! I’ll wipe that smile right off

And take that cool hairpin

(Seiga) I don’t think so. Now, [Demonify: Zouhou Rumo]!

[1:17] (Sanae) Reimu, let’s keep the Jiangshi over here and try to keep her down

(Marisa) Youmu, let’s get the boss. She doesn’t have any attacks!

(Seiga) Oh, is that what you’re thinking now?

-Seiga moves-

[1:28] [Path Sign: Dao Fetal Movement]!

(Youmu) There’s where she went!

(Marisa) Right. [Master Spark]!

(Sanae) Look out!

(Reimu) She’s above you!

(Seiga) [Evil Sign: Guhun Yegui]. Can you deal with these spirits, you two?

-fighting-

[2:03] (Youmu) Very well, I have no choice

[Slash of the Saigyou Spring Wind]!

[2:25] (Seiga) Well, that’s quite dangerous. Killing spirits…

Alright, I shall concede

(Marisa) Alright! The hairpin-

(Seiga) You don’t understand. That is me

(Reimu) Just stop making all the holes and call your minion off!

(Seiga) Miyako, over here

(Sanae) Hey, wait a second! The path behind us disappeared!

-Holes close up-

[2:52] (Seiga) I thought you wanted me to stop using my pin-hole making attack?

(Reimu) But now we’re stick in here. Just tell us how to get out of here if we’re heading back

(Seiga) That’s not really my problem. Solve it yourself

(Sanae) Please, won’t you help us?

(Seiga) Nah, gotta run

I am needed elsewhere to keep an eye over the resurrection

-Seiga and Yoshika exit.-

[3:15] (Reimu) Wait, what’s that?

(Marisa) Crap, not again

(Youmu) Did she say “resurrection”?