… And everything went to Hell (Part 2)

As Komachi dragged away a weakly struggling Eiki (Who was continuing a tirade about Yukari’s persistence in stalking outside girls in a “creepy” manner), everyone else at the shrine fell silent. Marisa and Reimu were attempting to process all of the shocking (Yet unsurprising) revelations and figure out which ones to ask about without chasing Yukari off, Yukari was waiting patiently because she knew she had to answer some questions or she’d never hear the end of it, and Suika was merely waiting impatiently for the sake bug in the Ibuki Gourd to finish processing the water she gave it (Chen having been sent home a while ago). The silence stretched on for several more minutes (Only momentarily interrupted by Suika’s cheer as the Sake Bug finished its work) until Marisa finally found a safe topic to broach.

“So… are ya sure you can’t at least do the smell thing? ‘Cuz I’ve been wanting to try chasing Patchy out of the library usin’ natto or kimchi, but I didn’t want to actually cover myself with it”

Yukari thought about it for a moment. “Have you tried covering it up and carrying it in?”

“Tried that” Marisa replied with a sigh. “The box always leaks and spills, so I end up having to wash my hat and hair afterwards.”

“I could always throw it on you once you got there.” Offered Yukari.

“Nah, I may as well ask you to throw it on Patchy at that point.” Marisa replied, after mulling it over for a moment. “And ya can’t do the sweet thing either? I could probably get into a mochi-eating contest with Tewi for shits and giggles.”

“Yuyuko would show up and destroy the both of you, fat negation or not.” Yukari said flatly.

“Why did you get us all involved in the moon war?” Reimu cut in. “I had to spend a month up there, which caused a lot of problems here. What was your plan, anyway?”

“Oh, that was a simple one!” Yukari said brightly. “I just taught you how to manipulate the lunar gods, then manipulated Remilia to manipulate you two into invading the moon with her, then manipulated Eirin to take measures to ensure you all would make it there, after manipulating Eirin in such a way that she noticed so she’d try to manipulate me into giving myself away, so that way Ran and I would by caught by the Watasukis, leaving Yuyuko and Youmu, who I manipulated into following me to the moon, free to wander the Lunar Capital as they pleased!”

This was met with even more silence, until Suika rejoined the conversation. “Oh, that makes sense.”

“No!” Reimu shouted, rounding on Suika. “No, it doesn’t!! Why would you” she turned back to point an accusing finger at Yukari “do all that? What was the point?! What were you trying to get out of that mess?!”

“Lunarian sake, of course!” Yukari said with a shrug. Marisa suddenly raised her hand.

“Can ya repeat that again for me for a sec?”

“Lunarian sake, of course?” Recited Yukari, with a raised eyebrow.

Marisa shook her head. “No, the part before that.”

“Oh. Well, I manipulated Remilia who manipulated you guys, Then I manipulated Eirin who manipulated me and the Watasukis who manipulated you all, then I manipulated Yuyuko so she could navigate the Lunar Capital without being caught and manipulated!”

“… I get the distinct feeling that you’re purposefully using the word ‘manipulate’ wrong.” Marisa said.

“Probably.” Yukari replied with cheer.

Throughout this, Reimu had been mentally replaying the “explanation”.

“Wait, what about the moon rabbit?”

“Hmm?” Yukari shot her a sidelong glance “Which moon rabbit?”

“The one that crashed here at the shrine.” Reimu insisted. “How did you manage that?”

Yukari blinked. “Oh, that rabbit just came out of nowhere. She did give me the perfect excuse to get the ball rolling though.”

“Really.” Deadpanned Reimu. “You started ‘training’ me weeks before the rabbit arrived here, and she started all this?”

“Well, she upped the timetable a little bit.” Explained Yukari. “You four were going to the moon at some point that summer, but the original plan was to let the Lunarians sweat on the god thing for a little while longer. That rabbit just forced me to throw together that simple plan to get things done at a convenient time.”

“…There is absolutely nothing ‘simple’ about that plan of yours” Reimu said, rubbing her forehead. “Alright then, what about the ‘contributions’ to the shrine? What are those, and how do I get rid of them?”

Hearing this, Yukari feigned indignation. “And what makes you assume that my heartfelt and generous gifts to you must be removed? I’m hurt, Reimu. Don’t you trust me?” She asked with a pout.

“No!” Reimu shouted back immediately. “You’ve messed with my shrine’s sacred treasures, did who knows what because you felt like it, broke a barrier between life and death, and got me taken as a hostage on the moon! Trusting you is a terrible idea!”

“Ah, good” Yukari responded with a grin. “There’s hope for you after all.” She turned to Marisa.

“Next?”

“Hmm…” Marisa stalled, thinking it over. “So, you go outside a lot?”

Yukari nodded. “When I feel like it, yes.”

“Anything interesting happen with those video game things over there?”

Thinking about it, Yukari frowned in distaste. “Well, Nintendo changed their ‘Revolution’ system to be called a ‘Wii’. They also put out a new handheld as well.”

Marisa perked up at that last bit. “Is it like that Game boy thing you grabbed from Kourin?”

“Kind of, but this one has two screens on it.” Yukari explained. Seeing Marisa’s continued excitement, she quickly added “It runs on Outside infrastructure instead of batteries though, so you won’t be able to use it here for long.” Hearing this, Marisa deflated slightly.

Reimu, on the other hand, was completely lost. “A game… boy?”

“Yeah!" Marisa exclaimed, turning to explain. “It’s this toy from the Outside that runs on lightning, and it shows you these moving pictures so you can play games with it!”

Reimu was unimpressed with this explanation. “And then?”

Marisa paused for a second. “Well… you just… keep playing. Until the batteries die, anyway.”

Reimu frowned at that, further unimpressed. “It sounds like something that would bring that overbearing Yama back to lecture you about laziness as well. Seriously” She turned to Yukari “What is she doing here anyway?”

Yukari sighed and walked over to the shrine to sit on the porch next to a now-sleeping Suika. “That Yama means well, but she certainly would benefit from an actual vacation once in a while.”

Pinching the bridge of her nose, she went on. “Believe it or not, yesterday was actually her day off or something. She always seems to spend her time off lecturing the people who are still alive instead of dealing with the dead.”

“Why does she do that?” Marisa asked, propping herself up against a nearby tree and pointedly ignoring Reimu, who had begin cleaning again.

Yukari had to laugh at that. “She’s trying to help, actually.” Spotting an object lying nearby on the grass, Yukari’s eyes took on a devious glint. “She does her best to tell people what they will be judged for when they’re alive, so when they’re dead…” Yukari quickly reached behind her into a small gap to grasp the object on the ground “-she can send them to Heaven with confetti!” She then twisted the object, releasing its contents with a *bang*

“Gods damn it, Yukari!” Reimu shouted from where she had been picking up streamers. “Stop it with the confetti cannons already!”

“I dunno, these things are kinda fun” Marisa commented, picking up a discarded tube lying near her feet. “How do ya make these, anyway?”

“It’s annoyingly difficult” said Yukari, brushing a few loose pieces from her dress. “It’s much easier to buy them when I head Outside.”

“You mean when you’re not stalking people ‘creepily’?” Reimu asked dryly. “What’s up with that anyway?”

Without a word, Yukari tipped backwards and fell into a gap that appeared behind her, vanishing immediately.

“… Huh.” Marisa grunted, staring at the spot Yukari had been seated at. “All that random stuff, and it’s stalking that she doesn’t wanna talk about?”

“Just forget about it and come help me” called Reimu. “And while you’re over there, try and wake Suika up. We need all the help we can get.”

Marisa gave Suika a few experimental pokes. “Yeah, nothin’ doing.” She called back. She then surveyed the state of the shrine as a whole.

“Geez, this place went to hell, huh?”

Timeline